i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
