You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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