i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
