i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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