Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
