Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
