508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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