can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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