do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
