I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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