Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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