She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
