I only kidnapped one of them. chill
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize