Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
