Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
