i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
