I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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