god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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