Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
