well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
