Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
