ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
