i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
