He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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