I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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