Your tits are I can't wait for
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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