I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
