who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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