a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
