Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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