Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
