yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
