dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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