Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
