he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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