I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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