A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
