Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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