how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
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