i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
a search helicopter?!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
