Me too!
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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