would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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