OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
