she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
