do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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