C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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