im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
