Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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