i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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