Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
