none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
