ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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