what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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