Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
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