Quick, to the slutcave!
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
