I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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