What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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