Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
