dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
