I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So much Jack, so little girl.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
