careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize