first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
