Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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