Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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