Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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