Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
