I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
