So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
