I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
