What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He had one of those small greek statue penises
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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