Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
